shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Fuck appropriateness.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Randomize
