"it" just moved
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
