Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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