lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
