omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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