After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
