Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
