I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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