i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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