David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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