Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
