I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
