What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
