He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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