We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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