isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize