He had one of those small greek statue penises
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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