dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
