and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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