Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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