It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
