what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
