im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
