new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
