their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
