it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize