There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
