i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
