I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
