After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
