we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
do herpes really smell.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize