I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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