Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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