Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
