i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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