There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
