I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
