chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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