About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
