His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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