i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
