It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
