It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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