I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
