sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
