yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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