I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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