really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
