Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
