I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
