maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
