I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
