hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
