Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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