she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
