also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
