I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Randomize
